Favorite Child Syndrome

One of the most difficult things I have experienced in my relationship with God, is knowing that God does not speak to me exclusively. I realize that at first that might seem foolish—isn’t it obvious that the Lord speaks to all of us if only we are willing to listen. But oftentimes I become so engrossed with the word the Lord has placed within me, that I assume he has not shared it with another. I get into the “favorite child” mentality if you will: the inclination that I alone have God’s attention at that particular moment, that out of everyone on planet earth he values my prayers the most. Everyone else may be talking to God but he hears me especially, and because of that he has a plan for my life like no other. 

I have been growing in the Lord quite rapidly over the past few months. I dream heavenly inspired dreams, hear God clearly, speak in tongues often and successfully spoke at a youth event. My journals are full of divine inspiration just waiting to be preached (or well, spoken out since the validity of a woman’s “preaching” is to be debated). I saw myself speaking at ladies conferences, being used in tongues and interpretation and impacting thousands of lives. And at times I thought I was hot stuff–the most anointed woman to walk the face of the earth, the Merritt Griffis of womanhood (if you don’t know who he is, you will someday…trust me). 

Oh how ignorant the wisdom of man is, how much so it pales to the wisdom of God. God was setting me up for a dramatic awakening: I am not the only woman he can use. God died for each and every person that has ever lived, and as a fantastic plan for each of their lives. And apparently his plan includes having my best friend speak at a ladies conference with our pastor’s wife. My dreams are now her reality, and I’m not going to lie…that hurts alot. 

I feel like my previous statement pains a rather narcissistic picture of myself. While all I said about my giftings and seeing visions is true, I’m not nearly as confident in myself as my post may make it seem. I recognize that I possess a great understanding of the bible, but always seem to undervalue my gifts because they are mine. Often I find myself asking God why he granted me so many abilities, when there seems to be no vehicle for them to be used. I’m not confident like my best friend. She’s always been the center of attention, and deserves to be. She’s a fantastic musician, singer, intercessor and friend while I am a stage fright and timid individual. But that is why I truly believed God was going to use me so mightily–much like Ezekial, I cannot speak unless He speaks through me. 

Last month my youth pastor had several youth speak at an event, including me and my friend. She did a study of Israel’s inability to let go of Egypt–how they remembered the vegetables but not the whip, and eventually created a golden calf using the skills they acquired while building the false gods of Egypt. Ironically, the message I spoke was on Haggai: Learning to not compare yourself to another. When I spoke the spirit of fear that has bound me for almost a decade left, it was liberating. But I still stuttered. I thought once the fear was gone the stutter would leave as well, but it didn’t. 

My youth pastor said everyone did great, and recommended anyone with bible questions to come to me for advice. Then later he had a meeting with pastor and the pastor’s wife about my friend speaking at the next ladies conference. I support his decision, she can impact countless lives through her speaking. I want God’s will done, and even recognize that I am not ready for something like that, but still feel a bit lost. 

What do you do when your best friend suddenly is called to do the same things you are? I know the fields are ripe for harvest and the laborers are few, so God has called some people (like my friend) to minister in more than one way for his kingdom. I am thankful that God allows each of us to be used in our own ways. I just hope he directs me to what his will is for my life, and gives me the faith to believe in the visions till they come to past.

Daniel, Shadrack, Meshack and Abendigo were all captives in a strange land. They were Israelites, the chosen people of the most high God. Each of them believed in God to the point that they were willing to die for their faith. They were all promoted by God and gifted with divine wisdom. Yet it seems like Daniel overshadowed the other three.

Daniel and the three hebrew boys were all gifted with knowledge and skill in all all learning and wisdom, but only Daniel possessed the gift of interpretation of dreams and visions. It was Daniel that boldly challenged the king’s meat and drink and insisted the Israelites only eat the fruits and vegetables. It was Daniel that interpreted Nebecunnezers dream, Daniel that became ruler over all of the providences. Daniel was the hebrew that entertained angels, the one who saw visions of heavenly bodies before anyone else. And to top it all off, Daniel was the one God used to write a book of His holy word (which was named Daniel of course, because why not).

We all have Daniels in our lives. Individuals that’s ministry seems to overshadow our own. They seem to possess all the abilities we have, and more. And human instinct tells us to distance ourselves from the Daniels in our lives–Only then can we have the center stage, only then can God truly use us. But we need the Daniels in our lives.

Had the three distanced themselves from Daniel, they may not have had the courage to stand up to the King later in their life. Daniel’s visions gave them the confirmation they needed that God was real. Daniel went convently missing in chapter four of the book of Daniel. King Nebekenezer created a golden statue and had people bow to it, and Shadrack meshach and abednego refused. The king was furious and threw them into the fiery furnace but they were not injured. The son of God stepped into their situation and protected them from the flames, and revealed himself in the physical to the three and the king. The king repented, Babylon turned its heart to God. Revival was born…but where was Daniel? We know he didn’t backslide because just a few chapters later he is entertaining angels and interpreting dreams, so where did he go? The bible doesn’t say. All we know is God removed Daniel for a season so Shadrack, Meshack and Abendigo could shine for him.

As I said before, each person was created by God for a purpose. And that same God died on a cross so we could have the hope of a future. Even if it appears that another person is “stealing your ministry” they are not. God made his kingdom large enough for all who seek after him. You may have to stand on the sidelines for a while, but someday God will allow you to shine–or more accurately, God will shine though you. Do not allow condemnation or bitterness to seep into your life and steal your relationship with others and God and your future.

The lord has a plan for each and every one of us. And his kingdom is big enough to have more than one person called to evangelise, interpret dreams, sing a solo, pastor, teach, etc in the world, your church and even your friend group. The calling of God on someone else’s life does not diminish the call on your life, or vice versa. He can still use each and every one of us in a unique and powerful way. We just have to wait for our time to come. And when it does, God will blow your mind and show a side of himself you’ve never seen before.